he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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