Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
