she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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