meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
