I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
