remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
