It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
