No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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