FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
