she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
