isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
