I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
