did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
