the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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