Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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