There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
