someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
