We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
