Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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