I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
