There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
