Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize