quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i came on her dog
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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