Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
