Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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