Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
