Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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