the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
