And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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