You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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