By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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