She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
