I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
