We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
