I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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