I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
