Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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