Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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