It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
love makes seman taste better
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
