dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
