Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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