Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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