Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize