Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
