I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
