i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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