I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
