Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
