so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
