Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
