Will you blow on my dice?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
