the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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