I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
