I cannot find my penis.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
