How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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