i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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