dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
